I’m Alive. My life has just been hectic. A few more weeks of school until finals. I CAN do this. Not. Can I have my beautiful escape now? Can Sean O’donnell be the one that takes me away? I haven’t updated because I haven’t even been on my computer the way I use to. WebDesign? umm I wish. I’ve been unmotivated and lacked creativity while being away.
Through my school work I’ve become more depressed. Why can’t I be smarter? There are people in my classes that without studying can pass every test in a heartbeat. Me? I work my butt off for a mere B-. Life isn’t fair and I know it isn’t possible to make it that way but it makes me feel like I’m not getting anywhere in this world.
I love to rant. And my rants are always depressing. I never have it my way in my life. I’ve NEVER had good luck. I’ve dealt with too many rejections. Academically. I feel like a failure. Oh and did I mention that I’m always sounding cocky. I say I’m joking afterwards and when most people say they’re joking they aren’t but mine are sincere. I want to be photogenic. But I’m not. I want to be fashionable but I’m not.
I also go shopping a lot. But I never find anything that I truly like. I don’t wear dresses but after seeing so many girls wear them to school when the weather gets warm, I want to too. Yet when I go shopping for them, I can’t find anything that looks good on me. D: I have a ton of clothes that I use to like but my style has completely evolved. I HATE HATE HATE wearing plain t-shirts. I love cardigans! I’ve always loved tanks. I HATE SNEAKERS. I want Vans. I want lacy American Rag Combat boots. I need new flats. I want nice summer dresses. I want to be photogenic and beautiful. I want Sean O’donnell. (Usually I get over my obssessions like Ryan Higa, and Joe Jonas, and Zac Efron, but this guy is AMAZING! He replied to my tumblr message 333.